The Farm and Murphy's Law

In the beginning, we only had a few chickens.  A church friend had given us a few Dominique chicks and a cousin gave us a pair of Phoenix chickens so I could hear the rooster crow each morning.  Everyone warned us of the critters, particularly snakes, that would visit to take advantage of our new enterprise.  However, in those first four months, we never had one incident!

 As my husband prepared for his annual mission trip to Ghana, and our son prepared for his last year at church camp, I prepared to take care of the chickens and the farm for two weeks - ALONE!  Normally as soon as I deliver my husband to the airport and my son to church camp, Murphy's law kicks in!  One year it was wild hogs in the watermelon patch, another year it was a huge dog in our garden (who refused to leave even when I fired my pistol to scare him) - but ALWAYS something!  This year would be no exception!  On my first day alone, I'd done all the chores and gotten dressed to go to dinner with our older son and his wife.  I ran down to the coop to check one last time.  I opened up the nest boxes.  It didn't register right away that the long black squiggly thing in there was - oh yeah - a SNAKE!  Knowing my own limitations, I grabbed my cell phone and called our older son!  I explained my dilemma and begged for help to which he replied,"Mom, it will take me thirty minutes to get there and I'll just stand behind you when I do."  So I began frantically calling neighbors.  No one was home yet.  Finally, I called my friend and asked her to send her husband to rescue me!  Guess what?  He was at work!  She called some friends and they were at work!  In a few minutes, she drove up and said, "I'm all you've got, but here I am."  We devised a  plan!  She would use a stick to chase the snake into the open while I stood ready to kill it (by this time I was holding a hoe)!  We were wedged in the coop door.  Great plan - NOT!  The snake moved all over the coop as if enjoying the "side show" while every attempt to kill it failed!  It then slithered back to the nest box!  I decided it wasn't getting the eggs!  I stuck the hoe into an opening with a foot of clearance and sprang into action!  The hoe bounced up and down like a jack hammer sending shock waves up and down my arms with each impact.  I don't know how much time passed, but finally my friend touched my shoulder and said, "I think you got it, Renee'."  After laughing hysterically not at what we had accomplished, but HOW, I used the hoe and pulled the snake from the coop.  That snake was at least six feet long (although I prefer to believe it was more like eight feet long).  Needless to say, I was late to dinner, but the chickens and eggs were safe!